I Was An Impossible Virgin. Then I Lost It. Here’s What It Felt Like

|Updated Jun 3, 2020

Newly vegan or not, sometimes you just need that comfort food you crave from your past: A burger, and fries. This traditional comfort food brings back memories of hitting the reverse happy hour menu at Swingers Diner and slurping a chocolate malt shake and my favorite burger and fries when I was a kid. I knew nothing then about the health effects or the impact on my planet. I just loved that food.

Living in California, you can't drive down Sunset Boulevard without passing burger joints that have epic fans: In and Out, Astro Burger, Burger King, and McDonald's. When I found out that BK was newly selling an Impossible Whopper, I was still a meat-eater. Then I went plant-based and gave up all my worldly love of my formerly favorite foods: I swore off meat and dairy, cheese and icecream and of course the burger and fries treat of old.

Then COVID-19 hit. I high tailed it up to Napa to stay with my parents for the first five weeks. I love my parents, I really do, but after a while, of meaningful talks and long walks, I was yearning to get back to LA so again I hopped into my car and drove the usually seven hour drive in about 5 and a half. There was no one on the road. But that road trip worked up an appetiite. As I pulled back into my home city of LA I needed a fix. A burger, fries, the sweet sticky smell of ketchup. I pulled into a Burger King and ordered my first ever Impossible Whopper.

Just like that, my virginity was stolen. How did it feel? It was amazing. (Unlike the first time I actually lost my virginity but that is another story for another day, and much wine.)

The Impossible Whopper, even without the cheese and sauce that would have made it a non-plant-based option, was piping hot and the fries were equally salty and delicious, and I topped it off with the trifecta of fast-food living: A Diet Soda. As a former Whopper virgin (since that was never my go-to for burger fixes growing up), I couldn't even tell the difference between the Impossible and real meat. Impossible and BK really know what they're doing in the kitchen. (Although note to all the vegans out there this patty is cooked on the same grill as beef and chicken so of course if you want zero trace of animal product you need to ask your server to microwave it.) After one bite, I was speechless. I will never be quite the same again. For full orgasmic reaction, just watch the video below.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by

Now more than ever, fast-food chains are offering plant-based items to those of us who want to eat that way because the world has spoken. From Shake Shack to Umami burger, I've tried veggie, Impossible and Beyond burgers, and came to my senses that the Impossible Whopper is to my taste buds, the best in flavor, texture, and taste.

Some of my friends now call me the Burger Queen because these days my diet is 80% vegan patties and 20% vegan grilled cheese. So I know what to look for in a vegan burger.

Taste and texture: For starters, the Impossible Whopper is made of Impossible meat, which receives high marks. The flavor and texture really do resemble that of a beef burger, but slightly lighter and less greasy tasting.
Toppings: I like the classics. Nothing too fancy. I am not the biggest fan of “vegan truffle cheese sauce” or any crazy vegan aioli’s, I just like lettuce, tomato, tons of grilled onions, pickles, and ketchup for dipping! This Whopper has all of my favorite things and they aren’t shy about grilled onions. (But hold the mayo because as of yet, BK doesn't offer a vegan version.)
Patty Thickness: I’ve got a thing for smash burgers, the thinner the better. Paying homage to my California roots, In & Out has the crazy decadent and famous Double-Double burger, and trust me, it is exactly what it sounds like: Two thin patty’s, double cheese, and double toppings! The Impossible Whopper marks high in my book for its perfectly thin patty.

The Bottom Line: The Impossible whopper is my new all-time favorite fast food vegan treat. It's simple, classic comfort food that hits the spot every time.

Pro-tip: Make sure to ask for your burger to be done in the microwave instead of the grill to avoid meat contamination and ask for a “dry bun” which is code for hold the mayo! Your Whopper still comes with the Impossible patty, lettuce, tomato, grilled onions, and crunchy pickles... Make your way over to Burger King and get yourself a hopper with an order of piping hot fries, to treat yourself and lose your Impossible virginity today.